Overcome Driving Phobias, Stress & Rage
             with the Survival Kit: All new DVD, CD's & more!
                                  by "The DrivingTherapist"

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For a new brochure & tell me about your driving problems. I listen, I care and I'm here to help you.
   emailme:sycohn@ca.rr.com I make "house calls" or to join the Drivers Support Group, ask me how

Please "bear" with us
EN-LIGHT-EN-MENT: "to lighten up"

" I was greatly elated by the discovery that there is a physiological basis for the
ancient theory that laughter is good medicine" Norman Cousins from Anatomy of an Illness

"Don't take life so seriously because you won't get out of it alive".

"The Spiritual Journey is one of continually falling on your face, getting up, brushing yourself off, looking sheepishly at God, and taking another step."
                                                                                                       - Aurobindo

*********************
 Prayer:
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never
liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I
do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
                      ***************************

A preacher is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot

++++++++++++++++++++

Two doctors and an HMO manager are killed in a train wreck and line up at the Pearly Gates for admission to heaven. Saint Peter asks them to identify themselves. One doctor steps forward and says,
"I was a pediatric spine surgeon. I helped hundreds of kids overcome their deformities." Saint Peter says, "Enter."
The other doctor says, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped rehabilitate thousands of people." Saint Peter nods and invites him into heaven, too.
The third applicant steps forward and says, "I was an HMO manager. I helped countless people get cost-effective health care." Saint Peter tells him, "You can come in, too."
As the HMO manager walks by, Saint Peter adds, "But you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."

++++++++++++++++++

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a
conversation.Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her
shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead.

                                                    "Ah," he sighed, "that must be her checking out now."
 -----------------------------
 A man was driving in his car when all of the sudden a rooster ran out in front of him. He tried to miss it, but unfortunately ran over the rooster and killed it. He decided that he should go tell the farmer, so he got out of his car and walked across the road to the farm. He walked up to the front door and knocked.
The farmer came to the door and the man said, "I'm afraid I've killed your rooster, please let me replace him."
The farmer said, "Suit y'erself the hens are out'n the back."

------------------------

A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was President."

------------------------

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of Handcuffs.

----------------

Two quite elderly women were out driving in a large car.
Neither could barely see over the dashboard. As they were
cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight
was red, but they just went right on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought, "I must be losing it.
I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

A few minutes later, they came to another intersection.
The light was red; and again, they went right through.
This time, the passenger was almost sure the light had been
red but was also concerned that she might be seeing
things. Getting nervous, she decided to pay very close attention.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely
red; and they went right through it. She turned to the other
woman and yelled, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through
three red lights in a row? You could have killed us."

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap! Am I driving?"

-------------------------

Subject: Surgery on various Occupations
Five surgeons are discussing who the best patients are to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

  Temperance
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I‚d take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I‚d take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I‚d take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: *Shall We  Gather at the River*."

           ************************
A colleague of mine wanted to do a survey on obsessive/compulsive people and put an ad in the paper for these subjects. After  just one day he received over 100 calls, but it was all from one person.

 Do you think you have problems? Did you hear about the person who had three major disorders. He was phobic, had a low self-esteem and was paranoid. He was afraid that is wasn't good enough to have someone follow him.

I once had someone in the car that loved to sing"Roses are red, violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I" Or "I'm narcissistic and so am I"

You don't want to learn how to drive by accident, it could leave a lasting impression upon you.

I don't want to give you a crash course to deal with your problems.

Some people that I see don't want to wear their glasses while driving. I tell them if they don't, they can make a "spectacle" of themselves.

I once know a person that worked in a factory making glasses that fell into the machine and made a spectacle of himself. He said that he "was framed".


                                                              Don't be a scaredy cat.
Watch what you think or say because your K(c)arma will get you!

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For a new brochure & tell me about your driving problems. I listen,
I care and I'm here to help you.
 emailme:sycohn@ca.rr.com I make
"house calls" or to join the Drivers Support  Group, ask me how.